Selective Mutism – A Poem: The Walls Of Silence And Anxiety

This is a poem I wrote when I was about 16:

 

The whole world’s always been a virtual prison to me,

I’m not free to be able to do what I wanna do,

All I ask for is some freedom,

But there’s 4 invisible walls completely surrounding me.

 

I’m standing around these walls that block my true-self,

I’m screaming out for help to get away from this blockage,

But the walls are so thick that no one can hear me,

So I feel like I’m trapped inside a cage.

 

I’ve been trapped like this for years,

Each year the walls just get thicker, higher, wider,

I look for something to try and smash them down, a key to open the door,

But no matter how much I look, there just doesn’t seem to be an answer.

 

I sit around waiting for someone to free me,

Someone to help me escape from this nightmare,

But my hope dies thin as the walls begin to thicken,

It’s like I’ve been left, ignored, forgotten.

 

I feel so small compared to these walls,

So helpless, so alone, so fragile,

I can’t help but break down and cry of the thought of never being freed,

I can’t take this anymore, give me a little help that’s all I’ll ever need.

 

What you’ll find when you free me,

Is someone who was suffering extreme levels of anxiety,

Someone who knows paranoia, worry and fear more than you’ll ever know.

 

Behind these walls of silence and anxiety, is a loud confident person,

Who will someday be happy as ever can be, when she finds her voice,

Someone you’ll regret walking away from and turning your back on,

Because silence wasn’t the real her, or who she ever wanted to be.

 

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